About Me

Me In General

as for who i am in general, well, i'm weird, and i am a complex as fuck person. i also hate capitalization as you can tell by my "i"'s lol. i also adore expletives/swear words as you will tell by my use of the word "fuck", because i mean come on, cursing is fun. i am chaotic, and energetic, and if you tell me about someone doing something to hurt you i will be overprotective as all fuck because i care about my friends, and i will always be here for you, and i'm never overprotective in a way that's toxic or controlling, however i will make you feel like i would happily hurt the person if given the chance. i can be super needy at times if i really care about you, especially if you're my FP (favorite person, it's a BPD thing that happens rarely because i've gotten my BPD under control, but still) and so, i hope i don't get annoying, but please know that it's because i luv and adore you. also i use luv for friends, which is my thing, i use luv for friends, and love for partners/crushes (so don't say you "love" me unless you want me to start catching feelings). if we're friends, you can mark me as someone to be your "first call", as in, if you're in deep shit, and need someone to bail you out, and do what i can, i'm the person to call. either for that or if you want someone to accompany you while you get yourself into deep shit, i'm ok with either of those options and am just crazy and chaotic enough to fully support both courses of action lmfao. also, because of that, i am the type of person that if you get into some sketchy situation or something extreme like getting kidnapped or some shit, i'm the type of friend that will raise hell on earth trying to make sure you're ok, safe, and all good, or die trying to do so. i'm an extremely affectionate person with people who i care about that are comfy with it, like i'll send hearts all the time, smiley faces, and in general make damn sure you know i luv and adore you (or love if i like you in that way). i also will make damn sure you never feel alone, because i know how that feels and it's a bit of a personal mission to make sure that nobody i know and care about feels what it's like to be totally alone. for me, i'll take you in my life and keep you there, just as long as you're not hurting me directly or intentionally, and don't become like a weight, or ball and chain.

About My Middle Name

so, you may be wondering why this section is here and what my middle name is, or just wondering why my middle name is what it is. my middle name is from the movie Nimona, on Netflix, as Nimona's storyline in the movie is something i connect with immensely. it is also used as a secondary name to refer to me, but is reserved for those i respect immensely, and who truly understand me, and have watched the movie for themselves. if you are such a person, i'm proud of you, and you're one of the few closest to me. if you are not such a person, do not use this name, or i will permanently hate you. 

My BPD

so, because of my BPD, i'm making a section devoted to it. i'm a generally chaotic person because of it, and because chaos is fun, but i've gotten it pretty under control for the most part, thanks in no small part to our therapist (shout out to you Elise!)

i've also learned to mirror good traits to self improve, which leads to this wonderful analogy: i was like a pair of ripped jeans because of all my trauma, and the multiple sections referring to my different behaviours and mindsets, and so now with enough patches, enough mirrored traits made my own, and them becoming a part of me, worn, used, and tested for months, now it all looks like a purposeful design, and the lines between old and new have blurred into just one reliable pair of jeans that you might not always wear, might not always have around, but you always find them in the drawer and wear them again, eventually, and they never lose that lasting sentimental value that clothes you've had for a long time do, or you might avoid them because they look like a messy patchwork, and not a masterful amalgam of sewing, patches, and cloth, like how many of my friends go a while without speaking, but then we talk again and they're happy to have a conversation with me again, and their day gets a little brighter, which is what i strive to do. sure the pain of life might rip me again, but i'll mirror another trait off a close friend then too, and fix myself after a while. one skill that's always been there, like a trusty button on the pair of jeans, is my ability to make great analogies, like this, which is great. and sure, some people might just use me, try me on, and then leave me behind, but someone else always picks me up.


Dating & Love

as for dating and love and such, i am a Polyamorous, Sapphic Transbian, and here's some sentences and such that describe how i want my love life to go.

i want a polycule with Sara Lance (pictured in white) from DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, and Alex Danvers (pictured in black) from DC's Supergirl, both on Netflix. I WANT THEM BOTH BC THEY'RE HOT

short story: i want to be carefully and kindly kidnapped by the villain of the story, handled with care, but i'm the pawn, the "innocent bystander" the one who they use for leverage, and i wake up in a room with them looking me in the eyes and i'm confused, but feel safe (the villains are always hot) and the villain is a tall lesbian staring at me with an evil grin, and says "welcome, you're the bait for my plan" and i can say "damn, what plan? why not change it and do me instead?" or some other witty quip, and over the course of a conversation, the villain finally is like "ok, fuck it. are you into bondage?" and i say "i'm tied up and i'm calm as can be, what do you think?" and she just changes her whole plan and we become lovers and her objectives change from whatever she was doing, to protecting me and making me happy because i'm the center of her world, and i'm hers, and she'd kill for me and whatever else was needed to make me happy, including bringing in other girls i like as a poly, who she also likes, and we become her polycule, and she'd do anything for us.


that's the level of obsession i want, and the sort of situation i want to find true love in (i never said i was mentally stable and i find that short story hot, say what you will but i don't care).

short story: i want to be walking along the street on one of my midnight walks, and hear a noise, i turn around to see a girl with fangs, and i say "woah are those real?" and she lunges at me, i jump out of the way and say "wait let's talk" as i fall to the ground, cut my hand a bit, and then hold the other out and say "wait, let's talk. most people probably think you're a monster, but i believe actions are the only thing to determine that, so if you want to prove everyone else wrong, and be better, then grab my hand and help me up, and we can talk" and then the girl grabs my hand, and picks me up, and i say "thank you, i'm Aleena" and she'll say "hi, my name's [name], and well, i guess you know i'm a vampire then" and i'll say "yeah, i kinda gathered that, now look, thank you for the self control. let me patch up my hand real quick." and get out my first aid kit, we patch it up, and then i say "so, i need to walk home, but you need to feed, so, give me your number, we'll talk tomorrow, and for now you can have some of my blood, just don't drop me below the 15% line ok?" and she'll say "oh, ok, my number's [number]" and i'll put it in my phone, thank her, and say "just leave it somewhere i can hide" and lift up my sleeve to my arm, high up, and let her feed, and then i say "So, i'll see you tomorrow, but make sure my parents don't see you, ok?" and she'll agree, then i'll walk home, go to sleep, and then text her tomorrow and ask if it's her, and it will be, and then we'll talk, meet up, and go meet in the woods, and from there, i'd talk, happy to have a vampire girl as a friend, and slowly get closer and more solid and confident and work up the courage to ask her out on a date, and then be girlfriends.


that's just plain hot, and sapphic, and romantic, and besides, who the fuck else would be totally chill with a vampire? probably almost nobody, i'm just the right flavour of mentally unstable lmfao.